Skip Xochimilco Mexico City (6 reasons I refuse to take you on a Xochimilco Tour…)
I’m sure you’ve read all about Mexico City Xochimilco tours…you've heard of the Xochimilco floating gardens and you imagine bulging boats lazing along the Xochimilco canals, bursting at the seams with a dizzying array of tropical flowers.
You’re thrilled to tantalize your taste buds with authentic Mexican delights like quesadillas and guacamole, all while listing along on pristine Xochimilco canals and swaying to the tunes of live mariachi bands.
Well, I’m here to burst your bubble.
Xochimilco Mexico City ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. (And I know, I’ve been an American living in Mexico City for something like 10 years now.)
Here are 6 reasons why you should absolutely strike the Xochimilco boat tour off your itinerary as you’re making your plans to visit Mexico City.
Xochimilco canals are filthy.
Reading descriptions of the Xochimilco boat ride conjures up a romantic image of getting closer to ancient Mexico’s natural roots. Unfortunately, the canals are heavily polluted, the water is an alluring shade of sewage-brown, and you might get to see some floating trash (if you´re lucky).
Oh, and as far as seeing an axolotl in Xochimilco? Fat chance. This amazing little animal is EXTREMELY endangered, and the water is too murky to see anything, anyway.
2. The famed “Xochimilco Island of the Dolls” is considered,
for some reason, a “highlight”.
Why on EARTH anyone would travel to Mexico City to see a bunch of deformed, disgusting plastic baby dolls nailed to trees is beyond me.
Come to think of it, I can’t understand why anyone would litter the environment with those stupid dolls, either.
Yes, you read that right…as you’re on your (hopefully) peaceful Xochimilco Tour, your captain will, on purpose, waste your time directing your Xochimilco boat (called a “trajinera”, the J sounds like an H) to a scuzzy little island with a mess of trees with grimy bits and pieces of naked baby dolls nailed to them.
This is called the Xochimilco Island of the Dolls, and they’ll tell you some superstitious ghost story that is supposedly linked to this pile of litter.
If this is a noteworthy stop on your Xochimilco Tour, I bet you can imagine what wonders await you ahead in the muddy canals.
3. How far is Xochimilco from Mexico City? Too doggone far.
But, let’s face it, that’s not a surprise in one of the biggest metropolises on the planet. (or is it “metropoli”?)
I see you checking Google Maps right now, flexing your fingers to fire off a comment, proving me wrong. After all, Xochimilco is part of Mexico City, and it's only 24 kilometers from the city center. That should be about 1/2 an hour trip, right?
Hold your horses, Keyboard Warrior. Remember how I've lived in Mexico City for about a decade?
Those of us that live here are genuinely excited when we can get anywhere within one hour. Forget what Google Maps says.
The traffic in Mexico City is some of the worst traffic in the world. (If you wanna find out some of the other truths of Mexico City that only a local can tell you, check out this video.)
You're not getting to Xochimilco Mexico City In under two hours. Do you really wanna have a 4 hour round trip to float along some polluted water?
4. The food at Xochimilco stinks.
I mean period.
On your Xochimilco boat ride, You're definitely going to get hungry. Since you're visiting Mexico City, one of the greatest food capitals in the world, I bet you're excited to dig into some of that authentic Mexican cuisine.
Well, don't bet on it on your Xochimilco tour.
The food offered is generally poor quality, way overpriced, and very limited. You're going to get some stupid snacks and pay four times the price for them.
Wanna know what foods you should definitely get in Mexico City, for under three bucks a piece? Watch this video, and forget about eating something decent at Xochimilco.
5. It's a booze cruise.
In the words of one of my subscribers who recently went to Xochimilco, it's just a booze cruise. (Thank you for the apt description, Peter.)
If you were hoping to relax and connect with nature on the Xochimilco canals, olvídalo.
The Xochimilco canals are completely overcrowded with drunken sailors, so to speak. Sometimes there are so many Xochimilco Mexico boats that you literally can't sail by, and each trajinera is saturated with a bunch of obnoxious 20-somethings drinking way too much corona and blasting their cheap music.
6. Xochimilco Mexico City is a hotspot for some of the
worst scams in the metropolis.
I was once nearly the victim of one of these scams.
Wanna hear the story? Watch this video.
You might as well go ahead and follow me on youtube at Señora Sarah. If you like this blog, I know you're gonna love the content on my channel.
¡Nos vemos!
(OH! And by the way…Xochimilco is pronounced SO CHEE MIL KO.
De nada.)
